Distractions.

They're good, aren't they?

This weekend has been full of great ones. And I've been doing great because of it.
My sister came out this weekend; so my mom, sister, and I all had a girls weekend.

Friday night we watched Bridesmaids when my aunt came over.
Then I watched Rent a little later, while my sister watched her shows on the computer and my mom went to bed.
After Rent was over (amazing movie~!!) I started cleaning my room, and my sister helped cuz she was sleeping with me for the night.

Around 4 we got done..lmao. My room is spotless now. My sister cut my bangs after I took a shower.
Then we went to bed at 5 or so.

Saturday morning we woke up at 11. My sister fixed my bangs and straightened my hair.
We went shopping for my cousin's daughters' birthday party. Then we went to get pumpkins.
My sister went to that party, and I stayed home with my mom and Krystle IM'd me to walk Molly with her.
So we did that, and I came home, debated whether to call my sister or not, and then she walked in the door.
We did pumpkins, carved them and such. (Mine was a kitty and Harry Potter~..both turned out like shit. lmao, don't they always?)
We made pumpkin seeds~(nomnomnom!!) And then made some caramel apples :3

Then my mom got a call, I guess a girl from her old work missed her.
Her friend set her up with her dad. Who is younger than my mom lololol
He likes star trek and call of duty....
Hopefully he's a good guy.
My mom has a date with him on tuesday~ Yay? This is her first date since like...1992? (when my mom and dad were dating~ O.o)

Today, well....We hung out. Haha, watched movies and worked on my sister's college homework for her >o> Funnnn. eh?



But yeah.
Nice distracting weekend, that's what I needed.

(Warning. The rest is me ranting.....)

But here I am. Back to worrying he'll never respond.

I think I'm going to send him a letter...Is that crazy? :l

I'm going to. And If he doesn't respond to that....Well then I give up. I'll have to face the heart break eventually. But I don't think I'll get over him.
I can't do it.
I love him. So. Fucking. Much.

What am I going to do?

He stopped me from ending it so many times.
He saved my life so many times.
He kept my secrets.
He pulled me out of depression.
He made me smile.
He made me feel beautiful.
He told me that we'd make it.
Through this last year.

And then he ended it.


What did I do wrong?

That's all I want to know. And he won't tell me.

It's probably my fault for wanting to break up with him before.
I was scared....
I pushed him away.

I didn't know what to do without him.

I guess I can fill the void and keep smiling and telling myself I'll be okay.
But is that enough?
Will that actually make me happy?


I'm scared it wont.

I just want him to love me back again... For him to tell me what I did wrong. I'll fix it. I'll do anything to fix it.

Maybe he'll read this. He has a DA...But doesn't use it... What do I do to get his attention?

My phone is shut off.
Every phone I call from to his, gives me a busy signal.
He doesn't check facebook I don't think.
He wont respond to emails.
Will he respond to a letter? Maybe..I hope so. I'm gonna do it. I'll send him a hand written letter like I did once before... I hope he reads it.