FML.

I feel like shit. Thats the only way I can describe the mood I'm in.

I was feeling amazing, then I stepped in fucking dog shit. Barefoot.
Second time in less than 2 weeks. Maybe even a week. It's the summer, I don't keep track of days well.

This summer has sucked. Nothing good has happened besides Josh. I'm not going to go there though. I'm done talking about guys on my journals, it curses it.

After i cleaned off my foot, cleaned up the shit (BECAUSE NOBODY ELSE IN THIS HOUSE CARES ENOUGH TO TAKE CARE OF MY DOG), cleaned the carpet, and sprayed stupid orange stuff, I took a shower.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I broke down. I cried, a lot. And let the hot water burn me. I didn't care how much it hurt.
I have no idea who I am guys.
I keep looking back and saying "Oh, I miss the old me.." FUCK THAT. Who was the dark me? Oh, that was someone who was trying to cope with being picked on.
I don't know who I am. I don't know who I ever was. I don't know if I'm me now.

All throughout my life, I've been trying to cope with what people say about me, what people do to me, and trying to fit in. I said "F THIS SHIT" in 8th grade, and let go into the cutting and emo side of me.
Only recently I stopped. I changed. I changed into someone who doesn't wear black every day, who draws, and loves photography, someone who loves the color blue.

..The only reason I stopped being that "emo/dark" person, is because people made fun of me that way, and everyone around me was changing.

I don't know who I am. And i'm in tears right now because of it. I want to find myself. I want to be happy.

You're probably like "Oh Tamara, why don't you just figure that out?", ..Thing is, I can't. I don't know how. I don't know what to do. I've always followed and adapted to people.
It's killing me. Being this person who is unsure about everything.

I don't even know now. I hate myself for it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I found out that my laptop screen is broken.
A few days ago it decided it was going to stop working, and it stopped, leaving me with no way to charge my laptop. So i turned it off, and started using my desktop. ....I let it sit on the floor, and eventually it got covered by my sheets. ...I stepped on it the other day, but I thought it was ok, cuz I didn't really step on it.
When I plugged in my charger today, ..it worked. So i turned on my laptop. ...And found the screen cracked and parts of it black.
yay, right? I have no idea what i'm gonna do now. My warranty prolly wont cover this ): So..I'm with a laptop with a cracked screen. yay... ):
I haven't had it for even a 5 months.. FML.

Great night, eh?